Home » Campaign » No More Page Three

No More Page Three

One weekday morning, a little lad,
Who wanted to be just like his Dad,
Sat down for breakfast, toast on plate
His Dad he tried to emulate.
So he reached out and picked up The Sun,
Transition to adulthood begun.
He turned the paper, page one…page two..
And then page three. Well, wow! Who knew?
“No need for sneaking on the internet,
No scouring mags for a hot brunette,
No need to hide stuff under the bed
Because this is right out there instead
And as it’s printed in daily news
That MUST mean it’s safe for views.
It’s right there, getting daily hits
So that means it’s FINE to ogle tits,
And if Mum should wander near
I’ll pretend I’m looking at the news stories here,
Because as a handy little motif
They’ve also printed “news in briefs”
So if I should be caught ogling these birds
I can pretend I’m reading their insightful words.
Of course, I doubt the words are theirs
What do lasses know of world affairs?
If all the paper cares about
Is what they look like with titties out,
Then why should I believe that they
Ever have anything of interest to say?
No, because this is in daily print
It’s fine to leer at this bint,
Other men can’t think too much
Of these chicks – they’re there to touch.
If porn was dirty or a private affair,
Then it wouldn’t be printed so boldly there.
No, this must mean that it’s alright
I’m so lucky. Tits in daily sight.”
And so the little lad grew older
And with the ladies grew ever bolder.
Page 3 featured in his daily life,
Even when he “took a wife”
She didn’t much like the tits on show
But it was in a newspaper, so
She didn’t feel she could complain
He’d moan about her nagging again.
So each and every weekday morn
She accepted with her breakfast, porn.
And so did her kids, who didn’t think
That tits and news have no link.
Until one day, after years of thinking
Support for Page 3 seemed to be shrinking.
A group of people who’d had enough
Of being labelled as tits and chuff,
Worked on a campaign to stop the boobs
From appearing in the daily news.
They still championed femininity
But advocated it in privacy,
Nothing to do with porn being banned
Just about Page 3, they made their stand.
It’s all about objectification
Which is embedded within our progressive nation,
It’s all about how women are viewed
And how leering and perving is downright rude,
It’s baby steps towards a state of equality
And not seeing sexism as merely frivolity,
It won’t change the world overnight
But a step in a direction overdue, and right.
So boobs aren’t news – find your pictures elsewhere
And women aren’t commodities at which you should stare.
We are all equal unless it’s otherwise proved,
No More Page Three – take the boobs out of news!

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